Why I hate (to bake) this cookie!

Yes, I hate to bake the cookie for which I am about to write, and if you choose to bake it as I instruct and serve it to family and friends, you will hate it too. To be fair I should explain…

If you’re wanting for a special confection to simply WOW everyone, whether for the holidays or some other special occasion, I’ve got a cookie recipe for you. It’s nothing special in the sense that it has basic ingredients probably already on hand, and the recipe is likely buried deep in your treasure trove of holiday cookies, all dog-eared and butter-stained. I’d say almost everyone has heard of it as well as consumed it. And it is…the plain ‘ole butter cookie! I told you it was already in your recipe file!

So why tout, and rant on, such standard fare in the cookie world that’s been around for ages? Well, what makes my (accidental) spin on the butter cookie special are not the ingredients, but rather how it is readied for the oven. I have found that it is not only this cookie’s simple, buttery nature that pleases the taste buds, but also its delicacy, i.e., its crispness, a result of the painstaking method of rolling. I don’t remember for what function I first baked this cookie, but I recall it was to be served to persons en masse. Not wanting to double an already hefty recipe (five cups of flour!) I discovered, intentionally, that by rolling the dough thinner than the 1/8″ suggested in the original recipe, I could strrrretch the predicted two dozen to a near-infinite number. What I did not intend was for folks to go gaga over them—apparently, the thinner the better.

Hence, my beef with this cookie, the monster I have (kind of) created is that now, with any impending large-scale get-together I am called upon to bake a batch, and I immediately fret for what awaits me…that being Hell’s other kitchen.

This is so because to achieve the sainted cookie you need as cool surroundings as possible (a hot oven is not your friend here), well-chilled dough, a cool working surface and the ability to move like the wind (time is sanity). If too slow rolling the dough, it quickly warms making it impossible to lift from the work surface, much less keep the shape in which it was cut. It’s a constant run between the counter top and refrigerator, grabbing dough, rolling it out quickly and thinly, cutting, lifting onto sheets and then shoving into the oven. Start the process all over again while remembering to keep a constant eye on the sheet so as not to burn. Baking the full recipe will keep you in this hurried state for hours.

So, a handful of tips to help you come through successfully if you’ve lost all wits about you and still want to attempt this cookie, or I should say, this method (it is less painful to roll these out thicker and they’re still just as delicious!). What follows are the tips and the full recipe:

1. The dough freezes well and can be baked off whenever time permits, but you may prefer to halve it. A half recipe rolled thin should make approximately 7-8 dozen.
2. Have ready a clean surface or marble board, extra flour for dusting, rolling pin, pastry scraper, thin spatula, cookie cutters and baking parchment fitted to your cookie sheets.
3. Look at the 1/8″ mark on a tape measure just to get an idea of how thick 1/8″ actually is…roll your dough slightly thinner, 1/16″ if possible.
4. When ready to roll the dough cut off a piece that is a few inches square to start. Roll too big of a piece and the dough may become too warm by the time you’re ready to transfer to the sheet. Flour the board generously throughout rolling so the dough does not stick, but don’t over-handle…too-soft dough will be your enemy throughout the process!
5. When finished rolling to the desired thickness make sure that the dough lifts easily from your surface then cut, cut, cut quickly! Lift each cookie with the corner of your spatula and place on your sheet. You can place them closely as there’s not much spread during baking.
6. Place any dough scraps in plastic and refrigerate until you’ve rolled all of the fresh dough, then go back and roll out the chilled scraps.
6. Once in the oven, use a timer and check on them frequently…once they start to brown they will brown quickly.
7. After removing from the oven just slide the parchment with cookies onto a counter to cool.

2 cups (4 sticks) butter, softened
5 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 eggs
1/2 teaspoon salt*
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

*omit salt if using salted butter

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

Cream butter and sugar in large mixer bowl (using beater attachment) until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Combine flour, baking powder and salt (see *). Gradually add the dry ingredients to the butter mixture and mix well. Divide the dough into at least fourths and flatten between two pieces of wax paper or plastic wrap. The flatter the better—this will make it easier to roll out. Refrigerate until firm. Roll out thinly and cut into shapes. Sprinkle with sugar if desired. Bake 6-8 minutes until lightly browned.

You’re now saying to yourself, “Holy cow! If I can complete this recipe any easier than this post then I’ll be thankful!” Yes, if that is the case, you should be thankful! Good luck and may the force be with you!